Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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