Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize