ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Holy shit dude........stairs
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
