If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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