Dual....:-)
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Randomize
