It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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