Walk of Shame. In a state park.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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