as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
