woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
