dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
