It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
