We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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