12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
