All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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