We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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