I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
