u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
