You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
