The police scanner is talking about you again....
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
