it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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