Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
