But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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