Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
