How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
