Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
