i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
