im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Randomize
