Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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