Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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