I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
