i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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