Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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