I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
