Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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