Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
