the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
