I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Randomize
