Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
