I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
