you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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