I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
