Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
