ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize