There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
