She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize