it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
he was CRYING into my vagina
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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