All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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