They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
