you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
