You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
