One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
