Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
