Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
