i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
