Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
