Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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