I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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