Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
