Christians are straight up FREAKS
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
