Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
