he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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