3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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