she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
