Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
