a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
