it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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