If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
this just has baby written all over it
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
