I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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