i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
