forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Randomize
