I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
