Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
